Have They Gone Now?

My mega-wind dance worked on Tuesday then?

What was so incredibly sad was punters going into bet on "Virtual races" at some indoor area at the Racecourse just to get their fix. Laughable if it wasn't so sad. I've just come back in from a run chuckling at the stationary queue I could see on the M5 in the distance.

Anyway, there was really only one news-worthy sporting item regarding Cheltenham this week and that was the Robins amazing 2-1 victory up at Elland Road against Leeds United, meaning the double this season!

Keith Downing is proving me wrong and if he keeps those boys up I will happily eat some humble pie. When the boss of our local rivals tells me how good he is and that he'll keep Town up then I have to believe it - his opinion carries plenty of weight in my eyes. The follow-up 1-0 over Bristol Rovers has opened an unexpected 7 point gap over Gillingham who are 4th from bottom - it's been an exceptioal week for Town.

Also from midweek the Villa result against Boro was disappointing, especially as they had been so awful at the weekend against Cardiff. It looks like 4th and 5th spots are well out of reach now with 6th now not even getting a UEFA place. Sixth would still be a great finish for us though but after defeat at Pompey even that might end up out of our grasp. Can't wait for Derby next month now as we have tickets although I hope it's not a meaningless game by then!

Looks like the Intertoto for us. If it get's us into Europe for next season it will be well worth it.

Gloucester Earthquake Appeal

Following the huge shock that hit the UK......

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Coney Hill in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre near the Chip Shop .

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell", and the earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.

Severn Sound reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Gloucester. One resident, Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits (female), White sport socks, Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

Breaking news

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop. "Where are you bleeding from?' they asked,

"Matson" said the girl, "wossit gotta do wiv you?"

Please don't forward this to anyone living in Gloucester - well, actually you can...they won't be able to read it anyway.

Discuss